Romance on the road

**a guest entry by a friend of mine**

I woke up feeling refreshed and renewed. I had experienced the loneliest day yesterday in my four months of travel. It was the first time in a long time that I had been alone. Just me. I went on a hike for a few hours just out of town to clear my mind. Upon returning to my dorm, I noticed that two previously vacant beds were now occupied. One was a middle aged man. The other...he was in his early 30s. I found him attractive the first time I saw him. Dark brown hair, medium build, glasses, and a big smile. We were both sitting in the common area later that evening and he decided to tell me about a dilemma he was in. There's a girl back home that might be "the one" and she can't wait any longer for him. He was considering cutting his trip short and going home for this girl. So I talked to him about it for a while. He apologized for venting to me. I told him it was okay because I enjoy listening to people and trying to help them. The second day, we all went out for dinner. The girls (a German, a Malay and I) were talking about how rude it was to have sex in a dorm. The two men at the table didn't say a word during this discussion. After dinner, I bought one carrot. It is a healthy snack and I was taking the bus to a different city the next day. He made a dirty joke asking, "What are you going to do with that carrot tonight?" I didn't understand it at first, then blushed and laughed when it clicked. That was the beginning of endless dirty jokes shared between us. We ended up staying in the same hostel the next two nights. We had lunch and dinner together. It was all very platonic. At this point I didn't think I had much in common with him. So I spent the day on my own and made plans for myself to go to the next country. The next day, we hiked at a National Park and that's when I realized we did get along. He was just really considerate. I liked that. He cut his stay in that city a day short and I decided to stay on an island with him to see something different. He was looking up places to stay and he was getting so excited to stay at a place by the beach. The excitement in his eyes and the enthusiasm in his voice was endearing. I told him to choose whatever place he wanted because it made him so happy. He chose a place by the beach with a double bed. I asked if it was one bed and we had to share or if we got our own beds. He said he didn't know. I later found out this was the moment he realized that we might have sex at some point. We got up early the next morning for the bus. This journey, to me, was when we bonded as friends. We were talking about everything. We were unbelievably honest and forthcoming with personal information. This was all new to a girl like me who is usually very guarded and reserved with intimate details. We joked and teased each other. He started to squeeze me knee/lower thigh area. I giggled every time he did that. He thought it was cute when I giggled so he would squeeze my legs more. There was a moment when we were waiting to get off the boat. We were talking about something, I don't remember what it was, then he brushed his hand on top of mine. It wasn't long but I noticed. This was when I knew the friendship would not stay platonic for long. We arrived on the island and got into the room.I realized it was one bed and out own bungalow. Uh oh. We were laying down and he asked if I would like to come closer to him. I said, "sure," and moved into his arms. He was rubbing my back, my arms, and petting my hair, caressing my face. It felt familiar. Then he asked if it would be okay if he kissed me. I whispered, "of course." We kissed. He was an amazing kisser. I was straddling him not long after that. Both of us kept saying we shouldn't, but didn't stop right away. Finally, he said we needed to stop. So we did. And spooned. We both fell asleep. The next morning he told me the reason he stopped was because he wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want me to develop feelings. He said girls tend to get involved after sex. I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship either and I'm not the type to get attached easily. He understood and was relieved. We ended up having sex that morning. The night before we left for the next island, I noticed he didn't give me any indication that he was interested. I was really moody because I felt rejected in a way. And he was sad because he was thinking about this girl back home. Imagine how internally annoyed I was that I didn't think he was interested in me anymore after we had sex, and he decided to talk to me about how he was thinking of the girl. We spent the whole day together. He said he had a great day. An amazing day. But she just popped up and he was sad. I tried to be a good friend and we talked about his feelings for more than an hour over mango shakes. We went back to the bungalow for dinner and I had a few drinks because I felt used for sex. A feeling I had experienced during this trip and actively tried to avoid again.

He kept telling me how cute I was during dinner but I thought he was being polite. We eventually went back to the room. I was lying down on the bed. He crawled on top of me and kissed me. I thought it would be more. He pulled away and got ready for bed. What a tease. So I showered and went to bed. The next day he told me he thought about having sex with me when he kissed me last night but he didn't want to take advantage of me because I had been drinking. I told him that was sweet of him but he should have done it anyway. It would have been consensual. We moved on to the next island. I fell asleep in his arms on the ferry there. I was never an affectionate person. It was different though. I wanted him to hold my hand, hug me, and out his arms around me. Weird. I spent the next few days working towards my Advanced Open Water Certificate. I was excited to hear about his day. He was more excited to hear about mine. and so we excitedly shared out stories like little children. We spent three nights on that island. There was an undeniable attraction between us. The touching, the looks, and the words we shared were just between us. We were two people walking around with guilty smiles. It was fun. It was easy. It was real. For now. Him and I actually had very similar views on relationships, work ethic and raising children. There was one time we were sitting together in silence. He said that he liked that we can sit there not talking and still be comfortable. That same conversation was also when I told him the reason I can have sex without developing feelings is because I am just like that and I couldn't see a relationship working out between us. I knew we wouldn't work out in the real world. We were only ever meant to be friends. He made sure I drank lots of water. "Drink, little lady," he stated. He held my hand when we crossed the street. He always took care of me. We are still in contact weeks later. As friends. We update one another on new things in our lives. He is moving to a new apartment, started a new job, and is moving on from the girl. I am still traveling. He invited me to visit him in his home country. Maybe next year. I do daydream about him from time to time. After all, he was my first travel boyfriend and I am his "good girl".