You and me, holding hands

I thought of you today and I was overwhelmed by sadness.

There I was, sitting on top of a magnificent temple overlooking beautiful plains with temples everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.

I was calm, feeling peaceful and happy. But then I saw them.

I saw them, an old couple holding hands, making their ways down the bottom of the temple. The man held the lady's hand tight in such a loving caring way, carefully leading her down the steps ...

They vanished from my sights as they descended.  But the image of them walking together,  especially the man leading the lady down the steps, brought back memories - memories of you and me.

You were shy, and awkward. You never showed your feelings and you were hopeless in making a decision. So despite the mutual feelings between us, you chose to avoid me and even disappeared for months altogether at one point.

But we were destined to be together, you and I both knew that.  So, by chance,  we bumped into each other.

The look on your face when you realised the girl who had just pushed open the door, entered the room and found herself standing next to you, I will always remember. You looked absolutely delighted yet surprised and relieved at the same time. So we met again,  both of us must hv been thinking,  and feeling amused.

You were more relaxed and friendly that night,  so we talked... awkwardly at first but much more friendly later. We talked and talked and talked,  bout work,  bout life,  bout everything... and as we were talking,  I could see that you had given up denying your feelings... you had decided to be with me. I could see that you had finally told yourself to take the leap of faith.

Hours had passed n it was time to leave, so you stood up and was going to start making your way through the crowd, but before you walked, you extended your right arm to reach for me. Surprised and overjoyed, I reached for your hand and let you hold my hand. 

You must have been nervous because instead of putting your arm ahead of mine, you did the opposite - my arm was in front of yours but you are walking ahead of me so basically you were twisting my arm. It was rather uncomfortable but I was too happy to correct you.

We walked through the crowd together, and it became really uncomfortable so I flung your hand.

What happened next I will always remember. So I flung your hand away and was gonna hold your hand back in a way I felt comfortable,  but before I managed to do so, you grabbed my wrist in a panic. Were you that afraid of losing me? I know you were. I had always known that despite your denial, despite your avoidance.  I was so happy to have confirmed your feelings,  so with a smile I reached for your hand and held it tight, our fingers entwined.  

Why you would give up on me I will never understand... When we will ever meet I could never stop wondering...

So here I am, sitting on top of a temple, under a pagoda,  with my eyes full of tears, I am thinking of you, my cute Australian boy with lovely green eyes, with the name which will forever make me frown,  Roger.